Drabbulous
by SanguineHearts
Summary: Some of my random DRRR! drabbles to get me back in the writing spirit. All inspired by my real conversations/events in life. Every drabble will be uploaded in a separate chapter. Mainly Shiziaya.
1. Uvula

That fucking flea! Sometimes Shizuo thought that the little shit's very existence was created specifically to piss him off. It must have been; otherwise, why would anything the blonde did to try to harm the way too skinny man backfire on him?

Like now, for instance. The Flea moved just in time to dodge the downward assault Shizuo had made with a lamp post he ripped from the side of the road. The lack of a target allowed the giant metal pole to ricochet off the pavement and hit the blonde in the forehead. The bartender fell on to his back upon impact, the lamp post clanking then rolling away from him. Had it been anyone else he was attacking, Shizuo would have given up; he would've chose to lie there, attempting to calm himself and tell himself that whoever it was, wasn't worth the chase. But this is the Flea he was fighting! And no matter what, he would not. Let. That. Asshat. Win!

Before the brute could jump back in to stance, he heard footsteps stepping on either side of him. He opened his eyes just in time to see a dark figure bend down to sit on his chest. Ruby eyes stared playfully in to his own amber ones. The Flea had him in a suggestive position… This couldn't be good. That wretched, holier-than-thou smirk still splayed on the other's face. The longer his enemy stared at him like that – like a predator hunting for prey, or a child ogling a new sweet in a sweets shop – the more Shizuo feared for his life. He knew that pain was an unknown feeling for his body, but no one tried to skillfully _kill_ him. No one tried to shoot him in the head, no one tried to strangulate him. No one tried to slit his throat with a shiny, metallic, slightly arousing knife similar to the one Izaya was fondling between his fingers.

But he would never let that fear show on his face. The blonde always dreamed that when he went out – if he went out – he would go out on a chariot of fire. Fearless, like a brave warrior, like a good big brother and body guard would. Well, he's had his fight, this was as close to "as a warrior" that he would get (even though his fate was mainly his fault, but Shizuo wouldn't think about that).

The brown eyed man unconsciously flinched when his enemy suddenly raised his arms to the sky, the knife landing dangerously on Shizuo's chest, but still gazed at him like an entertaining toy. Izaya stayed in that position for a while, making the taller man grow anxious. Strangulation it was, the Flea was always one for torture. Izaya's hands lowered towards his captive, but instead of grasping his throat, the brunette held Shizuo's face, severely confusing the blonde. He's had enough of this; a crowd had started to gather, and the idiot wasn't going to kill him. He should take his change now.

"Lick my uvula!" The pale man spontaneously shouted.

Shizuo's eyes went wide, he was a t a loss for words. Izaya couldn't possibly mean –

"Taste my stomach bile you whore!" With that, playful man mashed his lips to the blonde's in a forceful kiss.

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**A/N:** It's a little gross, but you know it's something Izaya would do and say. This is a borderline short and I apologize. I'm simply screwing around with my words to get back in the writing habit.


	2. Apples and Bananas

Izaya stretched his long limbs as much as he could in a passenger seat in a car. Despite the lack of room, a hint of a smile was on his face. He gazed out the window at the city giving way to trees and endless grasslands.

The job (which the sheer creepiness of it sent adrenaline through his veins) of tricking some gangs to pillage Aokigahara Forest, required him to travel away from the city. Even better, the job wouldn't take long. In turn, the raven haired man asked his boyfriend, Heiwajima Shizuo, to stay in some lovely hotel with him. And asked him to keep him safe. And asked him to drive there. Like a good boyfriend, he complied (like he had a choice).

So far, the drive had been uneventful. The couple had an idea to listen to music, taking turns deciding what would be played over the car speakers. Eventually they couldn't agree on what to listen to, which spiraled into a fight. Nothing too serious, though. Izaya, being himself, didn't let the nostalgic atmosphere go, and chided him playfully a bit more. After earning only a few short responses from the blonde, Izaya decided to relax and watch the world go by.

Lately, things were silent. The shorter man considered it boring, and a small debate erupted in his head. He wanted this trip to be fun, but it wasn't so far. He was angry at himself for his lack of creativity to make things interesting. Although, what could he really expect from a car ride..? Izaya racked his brain for ideas. _What makes humans interesting?_ He thought. _They're ever-changing… But if I suddenly pulled a personality-change on Shizu-chan, he'd probably get us in to a crash just so spite me. That monster would go unharmed… Hmmm… Changing, variety… random? _He watched a van pass by that was carrying two toddlers watching something on a screen in the back seat. Despite whatever they were watching, they seemed to ignore it and act obnoxiously, visibly annoying the driving parent. That scene was the connecting wire that sparked a thought in his head.

"I like to eat, eat, eat… Apples and ba-na-naaaas~." Izaya sing-song mumbled to himself, hoping his boyfriend heard.

"Don't sing that song!" Shizuo spontaneously remarked.

The dark haired man was slightly startled at the reaction, but smirked nonetheless. "Oh? And why not? Does it bother you my dear Shizu-chan?"

"Yes! Almost as much as that nickname!" The angry brute unconsciously pressed the gas pedal down more. Izaya indulged in a girlish giggle, and was about to sing the second verse, but stopped when Shizuo continued. "Our class used to sing that when I was younger, first started going to school. I don't even know why we sung it! And when it got to 'oples and ba-no-nos', I just fucking lost it! My parents had to transfer Kasusa and me to a school that promised not to sing that song. Fuggin'… ridiculous… piece of…"

"… You're kidding, right..?" The pale man noticed his boyfriend's knuckles grow white from clenching the steering wheel and the speed of the car grow even faster.

"Oples and ba-no-nos… Eples and ba-ne-nes…"

Izaya sank in his seat and put on his seat belt, as there was no way to break the berserker out of his trance of rage. This was fun, all right, but he didn't want to die just yet. Taking out a pen, the skinny male scribbled "help!" on his right palm and pressed it to the window, hoping any passing cars that they didn't hit would somehow lasso him out of the vehicle.

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**A/N:** A friend of mine and I had a conversation about this song, he responded in a way that reminded me of Shizuo. I just had to write this. Most of these drabbles are inspired by real events, btw.

If you've never heard of the song, it's this; www. youtube. com /watch?v=OKEUAzzn-Ig. {w/o the spaces} I'm not sure about anywhere else, but we sung it in elementary school to teach the vowels. I didn't actually think on how ridiculous it was until my friend said something.

Aokigahara Forest is a place in Japan where people hung themselves. Usually out of financial stress. We're talking thousands of people. So there are bodies and skeletons hanging from tree limbs. But these people had cash and valuables on them, so it wasn't uncommon for thieves and gangs to ransack the place. Just thought I'd let you know…


End file.
